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  • Writer's pictureInga

Have you tossed your New Year's resolution out the window yet?

It's February, so the new year's resolutions have likely fallen by the wayside. That could be a good thing; maybe the goal wasn't the best version yet. But all is not lost.

I don't make resolutions anymore; they're too firm, and the word itself doesn't bend. It just breaks and ends up in the trash. As I got older, I started choosing an intention for the year instead. This year, I intended to clear space physically, mentally, and in my schedule. I wanted out of the busyness and feeling of overwhelm.

I wanted more time to spend with family and friends, finish books I'd put off reading, and make a real effort to learn the guitar. I made space in my calendar, made plans with friends and family, and set goals for reading and practicing the guitar.

Did I roll through January smoothly like the Griffin brothers on roller skates, with all these new goals smoothly falling into place? No, not even close. Bad weather, unexpected events, blah blah, you know how this goes. Things seemed to always get in the way: distractions and resistance, par for the course.

Whether it is your first time ditching this particular goal or the 5th or 10th, here is the beauty in our failed attempts at change. We now have valuable data to help us as we return to the drawing board. It doesn't matter how many times you've tried; it's all information you can use to help find the path that will work for you.

The more worthwhile the goal, the less you will "feel" like doing it.

First, ask yourself, is this a worthwhile goal?

If it's a worthwhile goal, it deserves another attempt.

We know when it's worthwhile because it doesn't let go easily. It stays behind our shoulder and whispers softly. It won't shout or bully, but we hear it. A worthy goal is also surrounded by resistance. Anything and everything will try to keep you from doing it.

Look back over the last month and ask yourself these questions.

  1. Do I believe I can make this change?

  2. What were my obstacles? Lack of time? Lack of resources? Lack of motivation?

  3. Were my expectations too high?

We act on what we believe. If we struggle to make a change, chances are high that we don't think we can.

If time and resources are in limited supply, be willing to adjust your expectations and accept micro changes in the right direction instead.

No matter your goal or intention, expecting perfection is a surefire way to screw it up.

Take two

Assuming the goal is worthy, sticking with it even in a revised edition will pay dividends. When you reach the point where you enjoy the process, you've struck gold!

So, rethink, revamp, revise, and try again!

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